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A pair of college kids are walking back to their car in a dark and lonely parking lot. They’re making plans for coming vacation, the girl wants the boy to spend more time on her and less on his computer. They don’t notice the sinister shadow tracking their every move.
“The keys.” They stop dead, girl starts to panic, the gun doesn’t waver. The boy frantically hands over the keys, the gunman gets in the car and casually shoots the boy as he drives away. The terrified girl screams.
Alphonse staggers out of a very questionable nightclub, he’s definitely the worse for wear. He weaves unsteadily towards a rather nice looking sports car. Car thief steps out of the shadows “the keys” (very original, that!). Alphonse is too preoccupied with trying to get his key in the lock, “Yeah, man the keys, I know”. Gun waves menacingly. Alphonse sobers up in a hurry. Car thief 2 (Ice) steps out of the shadows. It’s a standoff!
They argue, Alphonse tries to chip in, both guns point in his direction, he subsides.
In the van across the street, people are listening in. “It’s him, I know it!” O’Connor wants to take the Car thief out, “Ssshh!” Charlie wants to hear more; he glances over his shoulder “Sorry …..”.
Car thief 2 decides to back out and leave Car thief to it. Oh and there’s one other thing!
“FBI, you’re under arrest”. Car thief waves his gun around trying to decide who to shoot first. Alphonse grabs him. Charlie saunters casually across the street “Give it up Bro, otherwise Arnold’s gonna find out who took his humvee”. He waves a tape of the whole conversation.
Back at the ranch, sorry, office. Our intrepid trio are watching the line up from behind a mirror window. The girl doesn’t identify anyone. None of them are a match for Barry’s killer. A complete bust!
Walking away, the boys critique the car thief’s performance, holding someone up for his car keys, where’s the artistry in that! They compare their more skilful methods of stealing cars. No match. They run into Chrissy. She’s also been working the case. Eh! They stare at her, they don’t remember seeing her freezing to death in a drafty parking lot.
The kids were not killed for their cars. Bemused, they follow her back to her office. She hands a CD ROM to Charlie; what’s this? “A computer algoritham for multiple compression synchronisation”, Ice and Alphonse stare at him, whoa, the martians have definitely landed.
It turns out this is the thing you need to make the internet work before you’ve had time to clean the house, do the dishes, make yourself a picnic etc. It still has a few bugs, but it will be worth a fortune once it’s finished.
Chrissy introduces them to their mark, an evil looking lady named Joan Cameron. Her company has bet the farm on a new internet solution, they’re 18 months behind! She’s a nasty piece of work, buys up competing software to keep it off the market, ties young college kids into bad contracts for low pay. Charlie’s not impressed, he doesn’t think much of the Dragon Lady.
Ice meets Mrs Gibbs, her son ‘committed suicide’ and Joan Cameron kept all his work. Her other child is miserable, suffering over the loss of his brother. Ice is grimly determined to do something.
The boys raid Cameron’s offices, and Alphonse is caught.
Ice and Charlie move onto the college campus. Charlie is worried, what if they figure out that Alphonse wanted to get caught. Ice thinks Charlie should stop worrying, Alphonse won’t be telling them anything.
Meanwhile, Alphonse is prepared to tell them anything they want to know. He claims to have been working for the Japanese. Chief goon (Andrew) is not convinced with his explanation, he backhands Alphonse across the face viciously. Two of Cameron’s goons drag in an enormous case full of weapons. Alphonse tells them he’s a freelance problem solver. Oh, and by the way Barry Decker (deceased from the parking lot) had a partner; and they’ll never get their hands on Decker’s work without the partner. OK, after getting Alphonse to change his clothes (?!?), chief goon drives him out to Joan Cameron’s house.
Cameron convinces Alphonse to tell them the name of Decker’s partner. Charles O’Bannon. Where will they find him, Alphonse shrugs, where do you usually find computer nerds?
Charlie has set up in the apartment. He checks all the security arrangements, it’s his neck on the block here. Ice thinks it’s paranoia. Charlie disagrees, justified concern. He sets up the computer and lays a trail that even a bloodhound with a cold could follow.
Sure enough, next morning he’s woken by a ringing. He fumbles for the phone. It’s dead. The ringing persists. It’s coming from a gift wrapped BMW Z3 convertible sitting in the drive. Nice! He nips out to answer the phone. It’s Joan Cameron, she’s traced him through his email software. Charlie doesn’t want to know, he hasn’t had his shots! (Rabies being the one that springs to mind). He disconnects.
“Arthur Lock” (Alphonse) points out that Charlie’s attitude could make him a problem. He offers to x out the problem for $50,000 cash. Joan Cameron doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Ice and Charlie settle down for an evening’s wait. Charlie wants to finish Barry’s programme and split the proceeds. Ice thinks he should remember Barry Decker’s family. Charlie looks at him, “I thought you had debts”. Not those kind of debts, all the people he hurt, all the people he wasn’t there for. Charlie tries to lighten the atmosphere, he thought Ice was in it for the dental plan, but the joke misfires. Ice snaps at him. Charlie looks soberly at him, seeing all the college kids around he envies them. Ice looks at him, what have they got, a backpack, “Daddy’s ratty old car”. Nah!, freedom, the chance to show what they can do. Charlie wonders what he would have turned out like if he’d had their opportunities. Ice takes in the pain in his expression, “you never had the chance”. “Nah, never had the chance” and that hurts! There is an awkward silence.
They’re interrupted by a knock at the door. Eh! Who’s that! Charlie hands Ice a baseball bat and he nips out the back door. Charlie answers the front door. It’s Barry Decker’s girlfriend. She wants to come in, she thinks someone is going to try to kill Charlie.
Charlie and Sarah (the girlfriend) have a nice cosy little chat, she asks him if he thinks she’s being paranoid. “I’m not the best judge of that” (Charlie wins the prize for the Understatement of the Millennium). Meanwhile, Ice is shivering on the back door step. He peers in, sending mental hurry up signals to Charlie. Sarah finally says she’s going to go, she has to study for a test, and clear her stuff out of Barry’s apartment. Charlie is disappointed, and she tells him he can walk her home. Yeah, you do that!. He has to get his jacket, it’s cold out. Ice shivers, no kidding!
Charlie walks her back to her place, and arranges to meet her next day after her exam. He gives her a hug and leaves.
Ice is sitting grumpily on a nearby park bench. He’s just checking up on Charlie, making sure nothing happens to him that isn’t supposed to. Charlie’s upset, this is a girl he could really connect with; occupational hazard, he can’t, and he’s even more upset because he had to lie to her.
Alphonse and the goons arrange to break into Charlie’s apartment. They strip the place totally. They find a computer disk. But its not what they’re looking for. Cameron is not amused. Alphonse points out again that a permanent solution, killing Charlie, might be best. No. We’ll try kidnapping him and scaring him into completing the work for them.
Ice and Charlie report to Chris. She’s not best pleased. She is even more stressed when they set up a trap which involves giving Ice a Rolls Royce, state of the art lap top, $2000 suit, diamond pinky ring. What’s all this for? The press conference! Oh and while you’re at it, catering, lots of food ………………and a full bar! “Is this a press conference or a Bar Mitzvah!” Chris worries about her expense account.
Ice acquires a laptop for Robert Gibbs (little brother of Randall) but he’s too upset to look at it.
The press conference goes ahead. Cameron is horrified. She’s never heard of this rival and he’s offering Charlie lots more than she planned to. Once again Alphonse offers her a dead body. She passes, she’ll try merger.
Needless to say, merger doesn’t work (I mean would you!).
Next day, Charlie arrives to pick Sarah up, he’s brought this bunch of flowers (you old romantic, you); they start out on their date. Sarah’s upset with him, she thinks he’s set himself up as a target. He tells her he knows exactly what he’s doing. He turns his car key. Nothing. Dead as a dodo. Unfortunately Sarah never got to those classes on Fuel Injectors. So their date is a bust.
Alphonse and Andrew are disguised as mechanics, they just happen to be driving by. They offer Charlie a lift. He accepts, but is suspicious (with good reason). With a convincing bit of trickery, he manages to escape their clutches. Cameron is livid, she doesn’t want excuses, she wants Charlie dead, courtesy of Mr Lock. And Mr Lock is going to take the fall for it, “Dallas” style.
Alphonse introduces his new found friend to the delights of high powered rifles and strictly non-regulation ammo. Andrew fires first, makes a hole in the water jug. Good, but not good enough. Alphonse fires. The explosion is awesome, the water jug is obliterated. Alphonse lays his rifle down. While his back’s turned, Andrew switches clips.
They give Arthur Lock a really bad police record, coupled with lots of mental health problems which Joan Cameron casually uploads into the police computer via her software. (Really gives you faith in the criminal justice system). He comes out as a clock tower sniper, and if he tells the police about Cameron and co, who’ll believe him! He’s paranoid.
Charlie meets with Sarah before his press conference confirming the deal. Sarah’s worried, she thinks something is going to happen! They arrange to meet at sunset (aaahhh!).
Charlie joins Ice in the car, he’s upset, he’s still lying to her.
Ice and Charlie start their press conference. Meanwhile, Alphonse and Andrew are setting up in the multistorey parking lot across the way. Andrew phones the police. Then he takes aim. Charlie goes down. Panic stricken people scatter. Ice runs over to Charlie, he slides his hand under Charlie’s jacket, it comes up red with Charlie’s blood.
Cameron and Andrew are jubilant. Charlie’s dead. They will make the deal with Ice as he won’t be able to finish off the software. Cameron wants to be certain that they’re safe. Andrew shrugs. Who will link a sniping to a carjacking? Or a carjacking to a suicide. They’re home free. Andrew pulls the clip out of the gun. Eh! Blanks. His face darkens, they’re all blanks except the last one. What’s this?
Chrissy walks into the room with the guys, “a microphone”, you’re under arrest. What for? Joan Cameron believes she’s done nothing wrong. Only set up three people to die! That’s all. And she’s broke, so no lawyer, only a public defender. “By the way, your email software sucks” Charlie’s parting shot.
Ice and Alphonse visit Mrs Gibbs to give her the good news. Her younger son is happily playing with the laptop that Ice managed to acquire for him. He’s recovering from the death of his brother. Alphonse notices a picture of Randall, he’s with a pretty blonde who looks strangely familiar. He shows the photo to Ice. It’s Sarah.
Charlie and Sarah meet up. He tells her the whole story, well the edited highlights. She’s impressed. She tells him how wonderful he is and moves in for the killer hug. Charlie’s unmoved by her proximity. Two pairs of strong hands grab her and drag her away from Charlie. Ice shows him a photo, she was Randall’s girlfriend too. Alphonse chips in, she was going to kill him for the software. Sarah looks soulfully at him, his eyes are cold and hard. Ice fishes her revolver out of her bag. He checks the chambers, all empty; check out those matching puzzled frowns! Charlie holds out his hand, with the bullets from the revolver. “Call it paranoia, huh!” Ice and Alphonse grin at him, appreciating his timing. Charlie’s too hurt to care, the goddess had feet of clay after all.